Being back at home after getting my mama settled into memory care, I am finally able to start getting to my own "stuff." I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to spend most of July with my mom as a caregiver. I am also incredibly thankful that I was able to take time to write down what I was experiencing and how it affected me. I will be sharing some of those thoughts here for anyone who may be going through something similar.
This is sacred time with my mom. The profound sacred intimacy in witnessing someone - especially an adult - in such a vulnerable state and being trusted by them can be overwhelming.
I am moved to tears when my mom trusts me not because she remembers I am her daughter but because some part of her deep down knows I will care for her and I have her best interests at heart. When she asks me for my phone number and address and birthday, I know she desperately wants to stay in touch and be connected. She gravitates towards me and searches for me. It's an overwhelming honor.
I am moved to tears when my mom (the only girl with two brothers) says she is so glad to have a sister as she smiles at me and holds my hand. I have a deep appreciation of this statement, as we often commiserated about the occasional loneliness of growing up with only brothers. She's telling me she doesn't feel lonely.
I have prayed for God to open my eyes and ears to what is hidden deep and unspoken... He speaks to my heart in these moments and pulls back the veil between her and I and allows me to experience a rare joy and connection.
I am so thankful.
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