Do The Hard Thing

Lately I have been really thinking about the “hard things” – the often difficult, challenging, uncomfortable and inconvenient opportunities I am faced with as a believer. Especially the things that I can easily avoid, put off, excuse, or just plain refuse to do such as:

• being present for someone who is grieving

• caring for the sick or the poor

• confronting and confessing sin

• changing destructive and ingrained patterns of behavior

• speaking up against injustice

• praying for our enemies

• forgiving someone who has hurt us

• having the difficult conversation

Why do I do this? I began to realize how much this bothered me in my prayer and meditation time with Him and really started to sit back and notice what my inner self-critic was telling me about myself. Instead of listening to that voice and just believing it, I began taking the opportunity to break down WHY I believed it so easily and began comparing it to what God says about me through scripture. (This is still a work in process but it is already bearing fruit like this.) These realizations - along with a few God-timed sermons at church - showed me that doing the “hard things” instead of avoiding them first requires a right attitude about “others” and “neighbors.” It is easy to disconnect, disengage or avoid people/situations that are uncomfortable when I do not see them as “equal” or “similar.”

I am reminded that Jesus said the greatest commandment is “to love the Lord your God” (Matthew 22:37), harking back to Deuteronomy 6:5, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” And after that? The second commandment, “love your neighbor as yourself” which Jesus stated was equally important. (Matthew 22:38) 

After all, we are ALL made in the image of God. (Genesis 1:27)

The Parable of the Good Samaritan from Luke chapter 10 gives me a stark example of loving my neighbor (and who qualifies as a neighbor). For those who may be unfamiliar with that parable, in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 10, Jesus had just taught about the first and second commandments as previously stated. He was then asked by an “expert” in religious law looking to justify his actions “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus then told the parable of the Good Samaritan. (A Jewish man travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho was attacked by bandits, stripped of his clothes, beaten up and left for dead on the side of the road. A priest comes along and sees the man lying there, crosses to the other side of the road and passes him by. A temple assistant comes by walks over, seems the man lying there and passes by on the other side of the road. Then a “despised” Samaritan comes along, sees the man, and is moved by “gut wrenching sympathy.” He soothes the man’s wound with olive oil and wine and bandages them. He puts the man on his own donkey and takes him to an inn where he takes care of him. The next day, the Samaritan pays the innkeeper two silver coins to take care of the man and assures the innkeeper that the next time he is in town, he will cover any further expenses that he may incur.)

In his recent sermon teaching on this parable, our pastor pointed out that it is important to realize that a Samaritan was seen as least likely to help in that culture. He noted that Isaac Asimov once likened it to someone being beaten on a road and left for dead in 1890 Alabama with a preacher and a mayor walking past but a poor Black sharecropper stopping to help.

(I find it rebelliously juicy that Jesus was comfortable using a person that the Jews he was talking to would most despise as the hero of his most iconic parable.)

The priest and the temple assistant both saw the man in the road (a man of their own faith) and walked to the other side of the road to pass, failing to offer any assistance or even acknowledging his situation. They AVOIDED helping. Perhaps they were busy, late for an appointment. Maybe they did not want to become unclean for any duties. The first century middle east did not exactly have 911 to call for help.

But it was the despised Samaritan that was moved by “gut wrenching sympathy” (in the original Greek). – and was willing to do the hard thing. He gave of his time, his energy, his compassion, and his money to help the man. He was generous. He stopped. He noticed. He acted. He did not expect any repayment – this was a one-way transaction. He showed up. He was inconvenienced.

When Jesus asked the expert in religious law who the beaten man’s “neighbor” was, the expert (seemingly grudgingly) replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” (He would not even say the word “Samaritan.”) And Jesus told him, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

So, EVERYONE is my neighbor. We are all created in the image of God. I am to love them all.

God will call us to love our neighbors in a variety of ways – it will differ in each person, relationship, calling, etc. Note that there are many people in the bible who were called to “hard things” that go far beyond what most of us will ever be called to do:

• Abraham left his native country and relatives to follow God’s call to the land of Canaan… and was obedient to God in taking Isaac to Mt Moriah.

• Moses was obedient to God’s call to go back to Egypt and face down Pharoah.

• Amos left his life as a shepherd with no priestly or prophetical training or background to deliver an unwelcome warning and message to Israel.

• Isaiah and numerous other prophets delivered difficult, unwelcome messages to leaders who then ridiculed them and often imprisoned or tortured them. In fact, we are told in Isaiah 20 that the Lord told Isaiah to walk “naked and barefoot” for three years, which he did as an illustration and warning to Judah’s leaders not to rely on foreign alliances with Egypt and Cush. While there is much debate as to the degree of undress that Isaiah exhibited, most agree that he did embrace wearing minimal or humiliatingly scant clothing during this time – perhaps just an undergarment or loincloth. That would certainly qualify as a “hard thing,” and I doubt it went over any better then than it would today.

  
  

Not all of us are asked to pick up a stranger off the street and feed and clothe them or walk around naked for three years to illustrate a point, face off with world leaders, or walk away from their jobs as “hard things.” But as believers, we can expect that we WILL be presented with the opportunity to do “hard things” in loving our neighbors.

Two “hard things” that the Lord has put on my heart heavily the last several years are GENEROSITY and SERVICE.

To be generous not just with money but with TIME. COMPASSION. LOVE. FORGIVENESS. ATTENTION. This is counter cultural. It is about putting the needs of others first without being drowned by them. (We must be tuned to His Voice to keep us balanced. Grounded in His Word and in fellowship with other trusted believers.)

Why are generosity and service so important?

• Because God has been generous with us!

• Generosity and service give us an opportunity to share our God-given resources (money, time, energy, compassion, etc.)

• Generosity and service reopen our eyes to injustice and need (we become spiritually blinded when we no longer fight for or even notice injustice)

• Service to others, especially to others who are sick, poor or in need, humbles us and reminds us that we are not an island to ourselves.

• Jesus told us to. Matthew 25:34-40 tells us “Come you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of this world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me… For when you do this to the least of these my brothers and sisters, you do this for me.”

• Jesus Himself served. He healed; He listened. He paid attention. He showed up where he was needed, not just where He was comfortable. He was generous with his compassion. He was willing to be inconvenienced. Jesus was a servant. John tells us in chapter 13 of his gospel that although the Father had given him authority over everything, Jesus chose to do the dirtiest, lowliest job of a servant – washing the feet of his disciples. And he told them to do this for each other. Serve each other. And then He did the ultimate hard thing - going to the cross for all mankind.

REMEMBER, we have been saved to do good works, we do not do good works in order to be saved. Good works come from a heart overflowing with love that comes from our Creator.

It is also important to recognize that NOT doing the right thing (often the hard thing) is also a sin. Sin is not just about what we DO. It is also about what we DON’T do or avoid.

• Obadiah, in giving his message to Edom re: their failure to help Israel and Judah when they were invaded by Babylon, tells Edom they will be punished for standing “aloof, refusing to help them.”

• James 4:17 also admonishes us that “Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.”

• Isaiah 58:7 “…this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.”

We come back to the point of knowing what we should do, seeing the need but still not meeting it. There is something that I believe often comes into play when we talk about generosity, service, helping the poor, and getting involved in hard and messy things: The Bystander Effect

In reviewing a study on the Bystander Effect in emergency situations, Udochi Emeghara noted that this social psychological phenomenon happens where individuals are less likely to help a victim when others are present. The greater the number of bystanders, the less likely any one of them is to help. (Bystander Effect in Psychology by Udochi Emeghara, Simply Psychology 9/7/23)

Whenever there is an emergency in which more than one person is present, a “diffusion of responsibility” exists, meaning that no one really feels fully responsible – most people feel a little responsible. This also means that the blame for not helping can be shared instead of resting on only one person. There is also an assumption that another bystander in the group will offer help. In essence, because “everyone” is responsible to help, no one person can really be held accountable, and everyone assumes “someone else” will take care of it.

While the Bystander Effect is primarily used to describe emergency situations and response to victims, it also accurately describes what happens in large congregations, communities, and groups of people when needs are evident but do not get met. (Ahem, foster care, homelessness, poverty in America, anyone?) We are not immune to this as believers. Many people see the need, no one really steps forward to help (often because we are not sure how to or if it is appropriate…  We do not want to do the WRONG thing.) We do not feel the blame for not helping as strongly because there are so many other witnesses to it who also are not moving to help. And we assume that “someone else” or “that person/ministry” will “probably” take care of it.

I am personally challenging the Bystander Effect tendency in my own life. There are many opportunities that come my way that I am not the best equipped or most appropriate person to handle and learning to discern between those and the genuine opportunities that God has brought before me is a daily and lifelong study. But there are so many daily opportunities He has made me more aware of as I seek His leading in this. Many of them are little hard things that reveal to be training for bigger hard things. Having difficult conversations. Challenging my own destructive behaviors and patterns and submitting them to God for repair and restoration. Taking time to listen and showing up when a loved one needs help. Being generous with my time, my attention, my compassion, my voice and, yes, even my money. Because THIS is how we love our neighbors.

For anyone who is a fan of theater, classical literature, and musical movies, I give you a quote from Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables:  

“To love another person is to see the face of God.”

Father God… Thank You for today… for the sunrise, for the breath in our lungs, for the opportunities that You have set before us. Thank You for reminding us that we are ALL created in Your image, ALL loved by You, deeply. Lord, help us to stay alert to any Bystander Effect in our lives that is allowing us to sit back and not step up and into our God-given calling to do hard things. Father, protect us from ourselves and help us to stay balanced as we do this – staying grounded in Your Word and accountable in trustworthy fellowship. Lord, open our eyes to see where we can choose to step up and do the hard thing and love others in a hands-on, boots on the ground way. Show us where we can be present for someone who is grieving, care for the sick or the poor, confront and confess sin, have the difficult conversation, change destructive and ingrained patterns of behavior, pray for our enemies, forgive someone who has hurt us, speak up against injustice by lending our voices to those who cannot speak or who are not heard over the cacophony of outrage addicted influencers. Lord, open our eyes where we are assuming that “someone else” will do the thing that is needed. Give us courage and wisdom and discernment to BE that person who does it, however You have created and equipped us to do it. Father, help us remember that we are loved so deeply, passionately, completely, and eternally by You, our Creator, that we can allow that love to fill us up and overflow out of us into the lives of our brothers and sisters around us. In the name of Your Son, the Humble Servant Jesus. Amen.