Transitions.

This year - the last six months in particular – has been full of major transitions. The most in a single year for as long as I can remember.

Major changes at work started off my year. In March, I moved to a new clinic along with the physician I assisted. Adjusting to being part of a different team and location was rough at times, but I was grateful to be able to stay connected with my old team members and make new friends. Not long after that move, it became apparent that I needed to be more available to my family, particularly for my parents as my mom’s Alzheimer’s was progressing. So, at the end of June, I said goodbye to my friends and favorite patients at Gilbert Neurology and headed off to Colorado to help with Mom.

It only took a few days for us to realize as a family that she had reached the point where she needed to be in care full-time as her needs had exceeded what we could do for her at home. I have been so immensely proud of how well my bonus dad, Ken, has taken care of her these last few years, and for us all to admit we were in over our heads was really tough. But with that realization and decision also came a sense of relief. Thankfully, we were able to find a good place for her and we were able to get her moved in without much fuss within a month. I stayed with her and Ken until we got her moved and then came home to transition to full time stay home grandma – doing my own thing and helping with the kids as needed.

Having been wrapped up in the chaotic healthcare field for the last five years, not going to work anymore was a rough change. The quietness of home (admittedly rare with a 5-year-old and 3-year-old in residence) gave me a chance to begin processing all the changes and subsequent emotions of the previous months. I traveled often to Colorado to visit my mom, Ken, and brother, Tyler, and managed to go to Washington and California a couple of times for graduations, concerts, girl time, whale watching and just plain down time. In the middle of all of that, Lee and I also found a new church home.

In November, I was able to have Thanksgiving dinner with my mom, Ken and both Tyler and Ryan at the care center where mom is – the first Thanksgiving we have shared in many years. Also in November, Shaun and his family moved into a place of their own and hosted Thanksgiving dinner for us there. December has found me transitioning to being a quasi-retired person and grandma-on-call.

Honestly, it has been an overwhelming year and it has been a little difficult to find my new groove. I have been needing to just sit and take a breath and try to get my bearings often. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with the choices before me: Do I write? Do I draw? Do I read? Do I clean? Do I arrange? Do I organize?

But what this year has taught me most is how powerful sitting still and seeking Him every day is. How powerful not stuffing your emotions can be – experiencing them and turning them over to Him and moving forward without the burden of unprocessed baggage weighing me down. How impactful questions can be and that it is ok not to have all the answers. That gratitude is a lifestyle – and so is worship. That not everything is mine to take care of.

So going into 2025, I am ok with not being ok sometimes. Some days I am sad because I miss my mom even though I still get to see her smile when I visit her. Some days I am lonely because the house is weirdly quiet but I am also happy to have the space and time to myself to think. Some days I am busy writing or creating and other days I am watching my favorite show or listening to my favorite music and cleaning bathrooms. Some days I am having fun playing with my grandkids and some days I’m boarding another airplane hoping there isn’t an obnoxious kid behind me kicking my seat.

What will next year bring? I have no idea. Probably some highs and some lows. Exhilarating fun times and excruciating boredom. Heartbreak and joy. Good surprises and not fun surprises. Hard work and peaceful rest. And all of the stuff in between.

In all of it, I am thankful for each day I get to experience. Each quiet night I get to spend with my husband of 30 years. Each hug I get from family and friends. Each smile and giggle I get from my grandkids. Each text I get from my kids. Every walk I get to take with my dog. Each day I do not have to clean up a hairball from the cat.

Most of all I am thankful every day for the faithfulness of the One Who never gives up on me, Who is always listening and Who always loves me just as I am.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy New Year to you all.

Andie